Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
