its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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