you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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