Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
