i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
