We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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