You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
