All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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