rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
