I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
