lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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