I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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