turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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