drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
