Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Im part way to drunk.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
