we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
