JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
