I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
