He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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