Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
