What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
