I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
