i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
