Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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