just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
