We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
