Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
