...so i touched it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
