im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
