i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
