I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
