problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
