I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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