i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
