Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
