If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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