I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
