So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
