Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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