Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
