you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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