He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
