This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
