just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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