part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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