it wasn't lemon gatorade
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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