Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
