shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
...so i touched it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
