Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
