i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
