I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
