first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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